I’m taking a break to write this, despite my pediatrics “1/4 bond paper ream thick” exam tomorrow, to say that i am
fucking tired of medical school. Mentally tired of this shit. Probably 3 years into this is taking its toll on me. Where people say that 3rd year is the hardest not just because of the almost “every fucking day jam packed filled fucking exams” but with the crucial point where your motives and desire to be become a doctor is questioned by the person you see in the mirror. I got tired in the previous years in medical school but not like this. Like what I said to a first year, the exams are progressive. a year after another, gets harder and harder. Studying almost every day and every weekend, thanks for Saturdays this year, is no damn joke. I don’t have time to relax or recuperate from the previous hell week that we just had. Sad to say the results of the exams disappoint me. Another factor that causes me to lose interest in what I do. Though I keep telling myself that I can’t in any way repeat a year or become irregular because of certain reasons, it is still not enough to motivate me. It might still be early to predict the outcome of the whole year but I am in danger in two subjects. Constantly feeling procrastinating all the time since the first hell week we had where everyday was exam day and the only time we had to study for the exam was a day before it. I have to get that out of my system. I am starting to hate what I’m doing despite not being in the last year yet. Well, what else can I do, I made it here so what the fuck I’m I suppose to do but to study everyday for exams that disappoint the hell out of me.
This is the hand we’ve been dealt
Every thing I held today had a way of flipping itself from a certain height and distance.
855 slides, 1.62 gig, and 5 powerpoints for ONE EXAM… and it’s just the second day.
I’m afraid we’ll always be a book with the end pages ripped out.
The Gods have made their will known,
Tyrion Lannister, in the name of King Tommen,
of the house Baratheon, first of his name,
you are hereby sentenced to death.
You know, fuck this. It’s just too much. Sometimes i just want go away and be on my own.